"Amanda was a good dog. And then she died. Because, you know, dogs die."

notice

Before we begin the review, we would just like to say that this will be taking a different form of review than normal as it is a movie. (SHOCKING, I KNOW!) The overview and quick stats sections will remain, but then we will have sections for the good, bad, and gory parts of the movie, along with the normal pros and cons and overall sections. Ok? Confusing? No? Then continue.

overview

Escape Room was a 2019 movie with a simple premise. People get sent to escape room, escape room tries to kill them. Kinda like Saw, but PG-13.

Let's hear the story directly from IMDB:

Six strangers find themselves in a maze of deadly mystery rooms and must use their wits to survive.

So... yeah. Basically what I was saying.

Let's get on with the stats, shall we?

quick stats

release date: January 4, 2019

rating: PG-13

runtime: 1 hour 39 minutes

starring: Taylor Russell, Logan Miller, Jay Ellis, Deborah Ann Woll, Tyler Labine, Nik Dodani, Yorick van Wageningen

director: Adam Robitel

the good

Escape Room looked beautiful. It was an ode to escape room enthusiasts everywhere. Not only did the rooms look fantastically designed, but the puzzles in them were truly escape-room-like puzzles.

Most of the movie is in the escape room(s), so you get a lot of time to look at the environment and see the cast interact with it.

On top of that, Brian Tyler wrote the soundtrack, and it perfectly captures the mood. Not that there was any surprise, as Tyler has also done Iron Man 3, Thor: The Dark World, Formula One, Assassin's Creed, Tokyo Drift, Fast and Furious 9, and Call of Duty, along with countless others. I listened to the entire soundtrack on a long and tiring road trip, and it was pretty great.

As if they were in a true escape room, the cast gets along beautifully (until they don't). The entire production crew minded the details amazingly to deliver a truly compelling environment.

And finally, Escape Room uses an ingenious plot device to make the escape room(s) even more interesting... and even more scary. The real question: was it a smart move to do so?

the bad

The reason you don't want to enjoy Escape Room?

It has no plot.

Ok, well, not no plot. But very little of it. Most of the movie, as mentioned before, takes place in the escape rooms, where the script writers didn't have to think about plot anymore, and just about death traps and puzzles to put in the rooms. True, there is the plot device we mentioned above, but that is the only part of the plot the movie really gets right.

It almost seems like Escape Room was trying to indirectly fight Saw. They appeared to be saying, "Oh, you think you make good death traps? We can make ones that are even more fun to watch!" And they did. But forgot about adding anything else into the movie, like subplots or character development or even plot in general.

The beginning is very confusing, as we get introduced to 3 of the 6 characters in the movie. The other 3? We only meet them in the actual escape room. Therefore, we care for them less. Just either introduce them all, or introduce none! Not half...

The ending is kind of a complete burning dumpster fire. Not only is it confusing, but it's just very clear the script writers only added it to set up a sequel.

The whole movie gives off a vibe that somehow just makes me feel bad every time I watch it. It lasts for a couple hours, usually. No other movie's done this. I watched it multiple times when I was in a phase with it, but I don't think I'm gonna see it again.

This movie is not a masterpiece.

the ugly

This is the section where we talk about gore!

Well, there isn't much to talk about.

Being a PG-13 movie, Escape Room had to strain itself from bloody or violent deaths. Some of the deaths are shown offscreen. The ones that aren't shown offscreen are not bloody at all (in one case, only a little blood). In fact, the only slightly violent death is the first one in the movie. If you think you might not be able to handle it, first of all, you will be able to handle it, and second, a list of all deaths (but not who dies or when) are written in white colored font below. (highlight the blank space to read the spoiler)

One person drowns in a long sequence, one person falls to their death (offscreen), one person is shocked to death, one person is kicked into a table (strobe lights are going off, though, so you don't really see it) and one person is shot offscreen. None of these deaths are very violent, and two 10 year olds watching the movie with us could handle all of the deaths.

Ok! Spoilers over! Let's get on to the pros and cons.

pros and cons

pro: really good room design!

con: no real plot throughout.

pro: very little gore!

con: the movie's one ingenious plot device could also be very traumatizing or creepy to viewers, so we're writing another spoiler below, in white colored text.

Each of the rooms is designed to trigger one of the characters' memories. They each had a traumatic experience in their past, such as being a veteran of the Vietnam War or surviving a plane crash. Basically they all have PTSD. Sometimes their PTSD is even required to solve a puzzle.

pro/con: since you don't really meet 3 of the characters until the actual escape room, you are sort of indifferent about who dies.

pro: amazing soundtrack!

con: the movie, for me, gives off a weird vibe. I don't like it.

pro: some of the movie is about overcoming things from your past. For example, one of the characters is an ex-alcoholic.

overall

Honestly, you don't need to see Escape Room. You're not missing anything. If you want to see some cool rooms and traps, why not give it a try? But if you don't, I don't pity you. The plot is completely gone and the movie just shoots off some vibes I'm just not a fan of (Saw? Something else, maybe? Just something that gives me a negative feeling I don't like). The only reason worth watching is the rooms, and let's be honest, you have better uses for your time. Go see Ocean's Eleven instead.

rating

5/10